The Color of Multiple Truths
this can be true and so can this
I heard the bird sing a song so red it made the tops of my earlobes blush.
Well that’s funny because I heard the bird sing a song so aquamarine it promised me a fountain of everlasting youth.
You don’t say! I heard the bird scream, not even sing, a yellow so mathematical it churned my insides like a rusty old gear.
All of you have your heads are so dangerously deep in the sand it’s perplexing how intoxicated you are by your own denial!
The bird sings black. A cool, cavernous sanctuary of security. A call so forgiving, one could nap as long as they wanted without being disturbed.
Just then, the birds started to spit their seeds as their chirping went from just that, to a cacophonous orchestra.
Are you saying I’m to believe I can’t believe what I do believe?
The damned bird sang so red it made my earlobes blush a bleed. This isn’t something I would lie about. Do you take me for a liar?
I didn’t say you were a liar, but maybe you just didn’t learn the color aquamarine when you were in school. This is a more subtle, some say even sophisticated render of blue and green entangled.
So now I’m a liar and I’m dumb?!
You’re both off, because, like I said…
Here we go, whenever someone starts a sentence with like I said, it means they’re an asshole!
Like-I-said, thinks the bird is screaming, at least we can all agree the bird is singing, not screaming!
Now I’m not so sure, if it was a sing-song or a cry after all.
Don’t create a fog!
The bird sings black. This is music for resting. No talking, just listening.
Excuse me, who are you?
I’m the bird singing.
You look like a tree, you’re a tree, silly.
More like a bush, if you ask me.
No I would say a weed, or a rose, or a vine, or, maybe I’m looking at a garden, now that you mention it.
Listen, whatever meaning you make of me, you are contacting something.
Contact happens.
Then a flavor of consciousness arises.
For you, a red, a yellow, which travels from pleasant to unpleasant.
You, an aquamarine, which is pleasant for the time being.
Can you feel black as neither pleasant nor unpleasant?
Neither pleasant nor unpleasant exists the majority of the time but often goes unnoticed.
Extremes are bold by design.
Unpleasant wants pleasant.
Pleasant wants to stay pleasant forever.
These are flavors.
Knowing the flavors when they are flavoring is remarkable.
If you know that that red blushes to bleed, then add some aquamarine to your repertoire to balance the bowl you are holding.
The point is, you all have flavorful points of contact.
This can be true and so can this.
Using wisdom, you know flavors are always changing and collaborating.
You can’t control them as they arrive, but you are capable of knowing they are happening when they are happening. This is what makes us a little bit human.
Before they become stories so encrusted with grime and gloom, you can no longer turn the pages of your life, you can know the flavors are present and know you are not your flavors.
Try this on: Your body is always here, while this flavor inside the belly of a thought arrives like a bubble in still water only to pop and disappear moments later.
The bubbles don’t last
Nothing does
Begin again
Reset to black
Feel invited to rest
Unplug
Proceed with choice!
Know when a flavor is present
Then ask questions
What is most helpful? How can I do something loving now?
If we stop asking questions we pour over seasoned soup into crusty, old bread stories that turn into crusty, old bread views.
If there are multiple truths, what can be forgiven?
The bird singing, the bird screaming?
Or you, for mistaking the flavor for yourself, for another?
Both?
What feels less scary? Go there first.
Be nice to your fragile body and mind.
Try loving yourself, don’t let pillows or wall hangings with cheesy slogans ruin this for you.
Return to black
Reset your intention
Contact happens
You hear a song
Or feel a sound, a thought
A flavor cracks over your computer like a runny egg
Pleasant perfumes fresh strawberries and a warm vibrating hum at the center of your being
I like that, more of that, keep that
That keep-that, creates a film in your mouth so much so it can only drool
A song so full of rapture your skin tightens to an unnecessary shine and for a second you think you won the lottery, a forever card, a perfect so perfect you never stop believing in it. Eventually the keep-that runs your entire life and you never stop moving, buying, filling up your house and mind with do-ing, getting, cursing all the not-having you are having, if I just had this, then that.
Right on time, coffee-stained teeth chatter non-stop, a self-serving cloaked in concerned worry that is off the charts and dead-set on confusing all the brain cells in the room.
Greed gets caught in the waves of becoming this or that, or not becoming this or that.
Distaste for pain just tastes more and more like the things you distaste.
Delusion seeps willful ignorance into all the corridors of your brain.
Hell, is all of this greed, distaste and delusion.
Craving births clinging.
I like red, this is nice red, fuck what if all of my red goes away red, I need to buy red, vape red, eat red, sleep with red, make red look acceptable red, see I don’t have a problem red, everything’s fine red, this is just how I love red, this is just me red, you’re taking away my freedom red.
I don’t like yellow, this hurts my head yellow, I don’t eat yellow, I’ll never hang out with yellow, I’m not going near it yellow, I don’t watch that yellow, What? I’m not avoiding yellow, you say that, but I don’t hear you and I don’t do that yellow, how could you see me that way, yellow.
None of this matters the colors don’t mean anything, I don’t know how I got here the colors don’t mean anything.
I should probably do this, I should do that, what are you talking about, I really have no idea what you’re talking about the colors do or don’t mean anything.
Unchecked, the flavors of feelings will make you act and interact like a dog on a leash.
Let me sing you this, sweet birds:
I wake up and come into contact with the sound of the bird outside my window
This thought is red, now it is yellow, blue, green, in between, feeling tones of pleasure, pain, or neither pleasure nor pain
My perspective writes a story, mental labels applied to the thoughts for the purpose of memory and recognition
I imagine how the morning will play out and begin to feel like my whole day will be fucked by the sound of this bird going off, the gas of my perception shaping states of body and mind
I start wishing, craving
I could stay in bed and delay the day, craving for an end
I could be elsewhere altogether, craving for a beginning
I start to notice my body, physical form, uncomfortable, the flavor of pain
I breathe, bodily phenomena
I’m curious about the feeling of the back of my body, form, connecting to the top of this bed, contact, and notice how pleasant this is, aware of pleasurable flavor without wanting it to last
I remember, mindfulness, how I’m connected to everything
I take care of myself knowing I need to do that first, in order to conjure even an ounce kindness, consciousness intellect
Then I verbalize some kind words to the bird outside my window, verbal fabrication with directed thought and evaluation
The bird’s song is inspired.
I am a student, listening curious as ever.
To learn more about how craving arises and craving ceases, read the introduction to “The Shape of Suffering” by Thanissaro Bhikkhu. From what I can tell (because I have not read all of it), this book is about unhealthy stress caused by craving, and the practice that leads to the end of unhealthy stress via the teachings of the Buddha, those that are held within the Pali Canon, the collection of scriptures in the Theravada Buddhist tradition.
TONIGHT! Community IV - April 10th!
What?
Community Intuitive Voicing (IV) is a virtual practice space for creating intimacy w/your intuition and re-connecting to the wisdom of your body+mind through live music and meditation. Only your presence is needed!
45 min in length, come+go as you please
Learn more about Intuitive Voicing
Where?
Live online gathering from 8-9pm EST / 5-6pm PST
By Donation, Venmo @jessica-zambri (your presence is a donation too ya know)
When?
Wednesday, April 10th
Hope to see you there!
The album—> Intuitive Voicing is available to listen + purchase on Bandcamp!
Listen to the entire 30 minute guided meditation included on the album
Listen to the entire song “Foresting” one of my favs :)
"...astounding, psychedelia-spangled new age." -Bandcamp
Wow! Lots to think about.